How old is grandpa?

>
> How old is Grandpa? Stay with this -- the answer is
> at the end -- it will
> blow you away.
>
> One evening a grandson was talking to his
> grandfather about current events.
>
> The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought
> about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in
> general.
>
> The granddad replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born, before
> television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses,
> Frisbees and
> the pill.
>
> There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or
> ball-point pens.
>
> Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners,
> dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh
> air and
> man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
>
> Your grandmother and I got married first-and then
> lived together. Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called
> every man
> older than I, 'Sir'-and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every
> man with a title,
> 'Sir.'
>
> We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual
> careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
>
> Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
> good judgment, and common sense.
>
> We were taught to know the difference between right
> and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your
> country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.
>
> We thought fast food was what people ate during
> Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
> Draft dodgers
> were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.
>
> Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
> weekends not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM
> radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
> We listened to the
> Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't
> ever
> remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
>
> If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk. The term
> 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.Pizza Hut,
> McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
>
> We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually
> buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
>
> Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar,
> and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
>
> And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend
> your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
>
> You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who could afford one? Too bad,
> because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day, 'grass' was mowed,
> 'coke' was a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in, and 'rock
> music'
> was your grandmother's lullaby.
>
> 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of
> wood, hardware' was found in a hardware store, and 'software' wasn't
> even a word.
>
> And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a
> husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused"
> and say there is a generation gap. ..
>
> and how old do you think I am ???.
> > =
> > =
> > =
> > =
> > =

Shipwreck


 A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a
 sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized they
 were stranded on a deserted island.

 After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal
 companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular
 evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds. The breeze
 was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

 As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the
 lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
 But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until
 the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them
 continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more
 cuddling.

 A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
 The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought
 Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus
 clouds, a warm and gentle breeze. Perfect for a night of romance. Pretty
 soon, the man started to get those "feelings" again. He fought the urges
 as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to
 Nancy and told   her he hadn't had sex for months.

 Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

 He said, "take the dog for a   walk."
 Shipwreck


 A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a
 sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized they
 were stranded on a deserted island.

 After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal
 companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular
 evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds. The breeze
 was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

 As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the
 lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
 But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until
 the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them
 continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more
 cuddling.

 A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
 The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought
 Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus
 clouds, a warm and gentle breeze. Perfect for a night of romance. Pretty
 soon, the man started to get those "feelings" again. He fought the urges
 as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to
 Nancy and told   her he hadn't had sex for months.

 Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

 He said, "take the dog for a   walk."